Find Yourself Snapping at Everyone When You Get Home from Work? Here's What It May Mean...
I remember coming home from work after a 15-hour day at Goldman Sachs or spending all day on my feet in Michelin kitchens. I would often snap at my husband or my parents on the phone, even though they had nothing to do with why I was so irritable.
Sure, being tired had something to do with it, but I knew it wasn't just because I was exhausted.
You might brush off your snapping, thinking, "I had a long day at the office, I'm tired, I just need some space." But what if it's more than simple exhaustion? What if there are underlying reasons you haven't recognized yet?
Let's uncover what may be going on…
Uncovering the Top 3 Reasons Why
1. Unmet Needs at Work
Early in my Wall Street career, advocating for myself was difficult. I wanted more challenging work and a bigger raise, but I didn't do anything about it. This disappointment and frustration didn't stay at the office; they followed me home.
Maybe you've been in a similar spot, longing for a raise or eyeing a project you really wanted but didn’t get. When those desires go unmet, the disappointment and frustration can follow you home, too. Can you relate?
2. Difficulty Expressing Yourself
When I left Wall Street to pursue my dream of becoming a fine dining chef, I had big aspirations. But as a young cook in top Michelin kitchens in NYC—not in age, but in experience (lol)—I felt like I had so much catching up to do. I was working with cooks who were 10+ years younger than me, and I felt frustrated when I wasn't moving up or getting promoted fast enough. I had difficulty articulating what I wanted.
Have you also ever felt something is off but can't quite articulate it? Or even if you can, you're unsure about voicing it? That bottled-up feeling doesn't just go away. Instead, it tends to burst out, sometimes toward those who had nothing to do with it.
3. Same Old, Same Old
At one point in my culinary career, each day felt the same even though I loved my new career as a chef. When every day feels like déjà vu, it gets old. Fast. You feel suffocated because there's nothing to look forward to, so you might lash out, finding that snapping at your partner actually feels more thrilling than your mundane days.
Embarrassingly, my poor loved ones had to deal with my snappy attitude too many times. They definitely did not deserve that.
How I Navigated These Challenges
With the help of a mentor at work, I learned to articulate what I wanted, mustered up the courage to apply, interview, and transfer to a bigger role within the company. Through these actions, I put a bow on my Wall Street career by becoming the Chief of Staff for one of the smartest senior partners at the firm within my division.
While working in Michelin kitchens, I started speaking up to my executive chef. I shared my career aspirations and voiced my opinions about kitchen culture that should be improved. And to make my life outside of the intense kitchen environment manageable and more exciting, I enrolled in a meditation course and booked travel to learn and taste different foods. I also dove deeper into personal growth, even seeking out my spiritual side to discover who I am and why I'm here in this life.
These were the first steps I took to make huge transformations in my life to help me be where I am today.
3 Easily Implementable Solutions for You
Drawing from my experience, here are three easily implementable solutions you can try today to stop snapping at your loved ones.
Solution 1: Intentional Self-Reflection
Sometimes, all you need is some quiet time to figure stuff out. Take just 15 to 30 minutes to really understand what you want, and write it down. Is it that raise? A new challenge? Or maybe it’s time for something totally new? Reflection helps pinpoint the issue and figure out what you want and need.
Solution 2: Speak Up at Work
Easier said than done, I know. But voicing your needs, however small, can make a real difference. It could be the change that turns a frustrating day into one where you feel seen and heard. Your voice matters. Let it be heard.
Solution 3: Find Something to Look Forward To
Ever noticed that when there's something exciting to look forward to, challenges feel manageable? Plan a getaway, begin a new hobby, enroll in an interesting class, dive into an engaging book, or host a dinner party with friends. These aren't just fun diversions; they're essential activities that can transform your dull days into exciting ones!
Seeking Support
Lastly, never hesitate to seek support if you feel overwhelmed. A conversation with a trusted colleague, mentor, or professional coach can light the way and be the first step toward a happier you.
Don’t Ignore the Underlying Reasons
The frustrations you may feel are real, and snapping at others is a sign that requires further exploration. Understanding these underlying reasons is your first step toward making a significant change in your life.
And if this article hits home, I see you. You're not alone, and you can do something about it!
Ready to explore and address these underlying reasons?
Reach out to see if coaching would be right for you. Let's take the first step toward positive change together.
You don't have to do it alone!
